THAT MAN FROM RIO
A week's leave.
Yes, a week's leave.
We re-open at 2.
It's noon. I'm starving.
- Smell this cheese. - Wonderful.
Professor!
A phone call for you.
I'm not in.
It's about the museum.
It's been robbed!
What?
What? In the museum? I'll come at once.
- You didn't eat your perch! - She didn't.
- See you in a week. - Here we are, then.
- See you. - Bye, Lebel.
- We'll have fun. - Count on it.
You've got a girl. Maybe there's someone else, though.
Impossible! If she has, bang! It's over.
Don't knock her about, though!
Nobody takes me for a ride!
See you in a week, then,
on the 2.55 train. - On the dot!
Goodbye, Lebel!
Goodbye, Dufourquet.
- It's closed. - Agnès de Villermosa.
- So? - Let her in.
Sit still...
That's it. Thank you.
Well?
No surface wounds. Heart attack, I think.
All the excitement.
Isn't there something fishy here, Professor?
They're curious thieves.
There's a golden tiara here,
a ruby necklace there...
all left for an earthenware statue?
Probably a crazy collector. A banal news item.
That's no ordinary statue. It's priceless.
- The relic of a lost civilization. - Lost?
- The Malteks. - What's the link?
- It's clear. - Fill me in.
An Amazonian people decimated by the barbarians.
Barbarians?
Conquistadors, Europe. You, me...
Me? Hell's teeth!
What about you? You've been to Amazonia.
Yes, I'll show you.
This was taken three years ago, at the end of our expedition.
I recognize you.
You're here.
No, there.
Who are the others?
Villermosa, he died after we returned,
and Di Castro, our Brazilian backer.
So each one of you came back with your own doll
- a pretty lousy haul - and now they've stolen yours.
Exactly.
That gets us nowhere.
The Malteks were interested in secrets and hypnosis.
Know what their favourite weapon was?
Swords, spears?
Poison.
That's all legend, ancient history.
Supposing not all of them disappeared?
Indians dead for the last 300 years came to Paris
only to steal some pottery by hypnosis. It's obvious!
The statues are cursed.
Mine was in the museum, it was attacked.
Villermosa kept his and died from a poisonous arrow.
- You didn't tell me that, Martin. - Yes, 3 years ago...
- Agnès, you came. - I wanted to know...
To whom do I have the honour?
Mr Villermosa's daughter.
Don't know him. Oh, yes...
Forgive me, miss.
What happened to your father's statue?
It was never found.
- He hid it before he died. - Thank you.
- Tell me... - I'll see the lady out.
I'll wait.
I found this in the crook of his elbow.
They mock when I say Malteks. The race supposedly disappeared.
The fools laugh! The green forest swallowed those insect-eaters up!
It's nice of you to come.
You always do if something's wrong, and that's important.
I'd love to have a daughter like you.
I'm not a little girl anymore. You always say that.
Once every 6 months.
Haven't I changed at all?
Lots. You're more and more...
Feminine?
Is that no better?
Oh, yes.
So?
I'm an old thing.
How is your aunt?
Well. Do come and visit, won't you?
Bye!
So, Miss, why would they kidnap the professor?
They took him just like his statue. Your father's story.
That's why I'm here. I want to know what's behind these statues.
They never found Mr Villermosa's?
No.
After the expedition, my brother - her father - hid his statue.
And then, such a tragedy...
I'm sorry, madam.
- You-hoo! - Adrien!
Free for a whole week. Didn't you get the postcard? Well, I'm here.
Who might this be?
Don't worry, mate. Nice to meet you.
See you next week.
Not now, this is the police.
The police?
So your father hid his statuette?
And Agnès claims she knows where he hid it.
We lived in Rio then.
Agnès was only 14.
- He hid it near an aviary. - Brazil, near an aviary.
I remember. It was 3pm, everyone was asleep.
I was taking a nap in my room.
And from the window...
...I saw Papa dig a hole and put the statue in it.
He wore gloves and was all sweaty.
If we were to go there, I could find it.
Draw a map, I'll send it to the Brazilian police.
I don't know exactly. I'd have to be there.
Miss, your car is blocking the traffic.
My car? I doubt that.
It is. Please excuse me.
Don't forget me!
We haven't forgotten about you, young man. Come here.
Who might you be?
Soldier Dufourquet, 3rd squadron.
A soldier. You don't look like one. A relative?
- No. - Fiancé?
Not quite.
What are you here for?
Agnès is a friend.
Oh, I see.
So tell me...
Why do you think they kidnapped the professor?
The professor? Oh yes!
I'll tell you.
I did it. Don't tell anyone.
Let's remain friends. Don't get clever with me.
Do you want details?
I was at the window.
Darkness fell.
Two steely-eyed men in black alighted from their Hispano.
The sinister pair
approached the professor, surrounded him,
and kidnapped him. Oh, shit!
They're kidnapping her!
Stop him!
- Ticket, please. - I'm not flying...
You can get a ticket from the machine.
Get in line, like everyone else.
Agnès!
Go ahead, gentlemen.
General?
- Would you like a newspaper? - Yes, please.
Couldn't you find one?
No matter. You are charming.
A privilege, sir.
Stand at ease!
Just like Charleroi, but in the right direction!
Thank you, my dear!
Sir, your boarding pass.
No, over this side.
Agnès!
No, the other gangway.
- Listen... - Sit down, sir.
Look, I don't intend to... Miss!
Your belt... Fasten it.
Welcome aboard.
Our next stop is Rio de Janeiro.
Rio!
May I help you?
Nothing?
- Your seat... - It's here.
Wait till I tell Lebel!
- Sir? - I have to talk to the captain.
We can't disturb him.
It's serious. A girl is being kidnapped.
She's between those two men.
Wait here, please.
May I see your passports, please? Thank you.
That's what the man claims.
Do you know him?
- No. - Really, Agnès!
Please return to your seat.
But Agnès...
I'll notify the police in Rio. They'll look into him.
Very well, sir.
Just let me explain...
Sir, please wait here while we check your identity.
Brazil-America Publishing.
French?
Italian? Only Portuguese?
Another time...
You can keep your Rio!
Americano?
Liz Taylor, Cadillac, Hollywood, Cape Canaveral...
Polish it well. Soles, laces, the lot.
You're French! Eiffel Tower, De Gaulle,
Brigitte Bardot...
I know her. Five cruzeiros.
Sorry!
Fifty!
- Here. - Thanks.
What have I got myself into?
- What's your name? - Sir Winston.
- What? - Sir Winston!
Farewell, Sir Winston.
Where are you going?
I'm looking for a girl.
- Girls! This way... - No.
My girl. Agnès.
Agnès? Is she pretty?
Lost in Rio, God knows where. They kidnapped her.
Stay here.
Here, here!
What's wrong?
That's enough!
- What did you see? - Come on.
- Miss Villermosa. - She isn't here.
A French woman, came in with two flashy guys.
Flashy guys...?
Just tell me her room number.
I'm not allowed to say.
Leave it, I'll manage.
Sir, I'll have to have you thrown out.
Don't worry, I'll find her.
Excuse me.
My dear!
Don't you remember me?
Of course I know old Pickwick!
Agnès! It's me, Adrien.
Can you hear me? Wake up.
Have they hurt you? What did you say?
Wake up, dammit!
What do you want now?
You hear me?
Stop shaking me!
Those bastards drugged her.
Look at me.
Get up.
Smile, walk...
Agnès, go in there and walk to the door.
Where is she? Where are you going?
Come on!
You brought some friends?
Wake up.
Wake up!
Oh, the bastards!
This is nice! They look like waves.
How lovely!
Agnès!
Of course there are waves. Of course the water's lovely.
Because we are in Rio!
Rio?
Yes, Rio de Janeiro. Brazil.
Ring any bells?
Brazil!
Easy, now!
What a man you are.
- You recognise me? - No, but it doesn't matter.
- Calm down! - You look handsome.
They've sabotaged her! She doesn't know me.
What a nice surprise.
A deserted beach, lovely music, everything I love.
Thank you, sir.
Stop. You're tickling me!
The bastards!
What did he say?
We can't sleep on the beach and have to move? OK, gentlemen.
Let's go.
I'm sleepy.
We'll go to my house.
Ah! A nightingale.
You live here?
Come on!
She's pretty!
Yes, but high-maintenance.
Will you buy me pink sheets?
See? She always wants something we haven't got.
She's dreamy, off the wall...
You talk to her but she's listening to the Emperor of China.
A woman, Sir Winston, is someone who's waiting at home,
who's tender and understanding.
You come home, she opens the door,
she plays the piano
or the harp.
You're home.
She can't boil an egg but I follow her across the world.
- Is that normal? - I know. Scotch?
Cheers!
Where am I? What's wrong with me? Nothing.
Adrien! What are you doing here?
Where am I? Agnès!
Oh yes, Agnès. Everything's OK. Calm down.
Finally awake?
Look.
What's this?
It's very beautiful.
It's Rio.
Rio?
Simple: yesterday I came to Paris with Lebel, went to your place...
What's happened is dreadful. It's wonderful.
Dreadful or wonderful?
The ice cream's wonderful, what happened is dreadful. Keep up!
This isn't our honeymoon! I'm a deserter I could be shot.
So your statues, Indians and Pr. Catamaran...
Catalan. Don't take his name in vain.
OK, they kidnapped him. But why you?
And why not me?
Don't get upset.
There's a good reason to kidnap me.
Only I know where my father's statue is hidden.
- You still don't get it? - So?
So they brought me here to find it. A big mistake.
- Where are you going? - Come on!
But where?
Just come.
This is where my father and I lived.
- You don't like it. - Yes, I do. Lots.
Look!
The dog house. He was so cute.
His name was Pilou. He was so hairy.
A St Bernard, with a blind eye because the maid spilled bleach...
- That's all very well... - It's so pretty.
- We're not here for that. - Right.
My room was there.
Right. I was here, Papa left the house...
Go to the end of the garden.
- Keep going, further! - Oh, what a pain!
Left...
Take it easy.
- Where are you? - Here.
OK. Keep going back...
Quickly! Turn around. Straight on.
Keep going... Stand still!
I remember now that Papa was here.
- Funny, there was an aviary. - This is your aviary.
- There weren't so many plants. - That's life. Everything grows.
Give me the shovel.
- Yes. - Dig!
Hurry up, I'm waiting.
Look how beautiful it is.
Run.
Run!
You asked for it. Take this!
Adrien!
Help me! Adrien, save me!
Oh, what bad manners!
The statue!
What's wrong?
Don't ever point a gun at me.
- But the gun... - Adrien, what did I say?
Just chill out.
The bad guys always win!
Not for long, they don't know who they're dealing with.
- When did they leave? - I don't know.
- But where to? - I don't know, Miss.
Now they have 2 statuettes. There's a third...
- Di Castro's. - He's in Rio?
I think so.
Give me the phone book.
- How do you spell it? - The way you pronounce it.
He was on the expedition.
He's the next victim. But I won't allow it!
Stop talking and search.
Mr Di Castro is on the ship.
- There it is, let's go. - Slow down.
- We have to warn him. - How? We need a boat.
A pedalo! What if it's already too late?
What if they already killed him, stabbed him?
I fear that may be his floating grave.
You're right, let's go.
- Chicken! - Mind your words.
Then I'm going to dive in.
You're totally crazy. Don't draw attention to me.
I'll dive right in.
- Can you swim now? - No, why.
Leave it to me. I'll find your man.
Just wait there until I get back.
I get it! I'm useless and he wants a swimmer now.
Senor Di Castro.
It's ready.
Thank you.
Anyone home?
- Hands up. - No, let me explain...
Don't look fishy. Head for the harbour.
I left my land, my family, the army and friends,
to cross the ocean to see some bird dancing to pots and pans.
Is that normal?
Try it, it's easy.
- Watch... - Hold me back, boys...
I was sick of being left alone.
Did you find Di Castro?
No.
Wasn't he on the boat?
- What's wrong? - Nothing.
You're angry?
No, you can manage on your own.
Here, I found this. I'm going home.
Lebel will be waiting at the station in 4 days. It's been nice.
If I start something, I finish it.
- The statue! - Mr Di Castro.
- You know him? - Yes.
Where is he?
He went by plane? Where?
To Brasilia.
Adrien, did you hear? He's in Brasilia. No time to lose.
Sure! We'll get the subway there. Do you have a ticket?
Here. Oh, it smells of Paris!
If you really loved me, you wouldn't make fun.
Haven't I proven it?
Words prove nothing.
- Is Brasilia far? - No. 1 or 2000 kilometres.
Then we'll need a car.
I know one. What colour?
What colour would I like?
Pink with small green stars!
Look at that little house! There are butterflies.
What's that? Look, over there.
A pole.
No, there.
A telegraph pole.
We come around the world and all you see is poles.
Leave me alone.
You're amazing.
How can you be blasé amidst all these wonders?
Listen! A deserter in a stolen car with a hysterical woman
is either mental or blasé. Take your pick.
- Drive on. - If I want to.
- Shall I get out? - If you want to.
You always do what you want with me.
Pull it!
I am doing!
- There should be a button... - Which one?
Look! Why is it always up to me?
Careful! Don't let it go!
What are you doing there? Get up!
Yes, sergeant! At once, sergeant!
Down! Up! Down! Up!
You'll look silly in wrinkled trousers.
Are you angry?
You might answer me!
Don't stop here, it's a police station.
Sir, could you please arrest me?
I'm a deserter, I lost my uniform,
I flew without a ticket, conned an invalid,
I fought with men of all colours and nations,
and I drive around in a stolen pink car with little green stars.
I'm also guilty of public indecency.
The handcuffs, please.
Pvt Dufourquet, 3rd squadron, Besançon. You know it?
Besançon?
Of course not. Only Rio and Brasilia.
Ah, Brasilia! 50 kilometres.
Being honest gets you nowhere.
Look!
I know. An elephant, a butterfly...
No, the green car.
Slow down. Yes, it's Catalan!
Catalan who?
Professor Catalan. He's alive.
We must save him!
Let's do it!
Take the wheel.
I thought I was dead.
- Professor! - Hug him later!
Start it up, quick!
Agnès! How the heck did you get here?
They kidnapped me.
My fiancé Adrien saved me. He's on leave.
Eyes on the road!
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
What have they done to you?
They kidnapped me in Paris.
Same here. And we meet on the same road.
- Where are we going? - To warn Di Castro.
Warn him?
Di Castro... Of course!
I see now. But we'll get there first.
I was afraid they had killed you.
Only I know the secret of the statues.
There's a secret too?
I didn't take leave to play Indians in Mato Grosso!
- I have to be back by Monday. - It's always about you!
Do me a favour!
I want windows everywhere, everywhere only glass.
I want light... don't hesitate to make it transparent.
Like a dragonfly wing.
This building should be a dragonfly wing.
I insist... Let's go!
Norbert!
Let's go to my place for a drink.
You can tell me everything.
This is my bachelor pad. A little fantasy of mine.
My fountains. Not Versailles, but still cool.
But this side I hate.
No! None of this jangling music here!
Leave us alone.
Don't worry, the statuette is safe.
It's the jewel of my collection, my dearest memory.
My youth.
Still a bachelor? Still wearing tight-fitting suits?
- Do you like the new Brazil? - Very much.
And the Brazilians?
It's very strong!
To think I knew her this tall.
Everything shoots up around me, everything grows.
Like my city. Three years ago, it was a flat wilderness. Nothing!
Then I arrived, with a few others,
and here's the result.
You're wonderful!
Only you haven't changed, Norbert.
I followed your work on the Malteks. Very exciting!
- Such a dreamer. - You don't believe me?
Yes, but I'm a busy man with no time for daydreams.
- Don't worry, I don't see you as... - A loser?
Come now, Norbert.
- You are ravishing! - The statue, Mario.
- I can't bore my guest. - She won't mind.
You want to see my statue?
Here it is!
- It's a fake. - Bravo!
The eyes of an expert.
It's a copy. I have several. The real one isn't here.
Where is it?
How could I leave a wonder in a room where so many people pass?
- Fine. But I... - Have to be at the station.
- Is there a problem? - Our friend is in a fix.
He must be in Paris on Monday.
That's why we have planes. I'll arrange everything.
Ready a seaplane for Mr Catalan, departure tonight.
- Tonight? - Or tomorrow at dawn.
Tonight, you are my guests.
- My leave... - No problem.
I'm sure your reasons are excellent.
I must introduce you to my wife. Norma!
Let's have an impromptu party for our friends from France.
We'll have our own little celebration!
- It's you. - Indeed.
Bone-head. That's my nickname.
I always emerge victorious.
At war games!
Did you know you have mechanical eyes?
- Mechanical? - Full of malice and promise.
- Oh, sir! - They attract whispers, murmurs...
Not so loud, please! What a savage!
What was I saying?
I have mechanical eyes.
You scare me.
I do hope so.
I climbed...
Suddenly, the plane was on fire at 10,000 feet.
Hanging by my jaw, I felt the urge to laugh.
What's so funny?
It's not true. He's never left his barracks!
- Be right back. - "Be right back"!
- You think that's funny? - Look after me.
What, you want me to dive, hit someone...?
I'm not joking. I think I love you.
Are the trials over? Isn't there a stray dragon?
No, no dragons.
No one to kill? No one to save? I can retire.
Hand me my slippers, Mum!
In good time. Kiss me.
If it'll make you happy.
Mario, show me the statue.
Old friend...
Have a drink. You haven't drunk a thing.
No.
Are you afraid that you'll be poisoned...
like Agnès's father?
Why would you say that?
You're so nervous.
Mind you, after all that's happened...
The statue's still safe?
I want to see it.
- You're joking. - Not a bit.
I'll reassure you right now. Come.
I repeat, it's well protected. There's nothing to fear.
Trust me. Come...
Come on, I said!
Please, after you.
Do you still believe in the Maltek treasure?
More than ever.
And the 3 statues are the key?
I don't know. Maybe.
Be a good boy.
Go on in.
It's splendid.
I keep my finest pieces here. My treasures.
And the statue?
Well?
Yes.
I've waited three years for this.
Three years of preparation.
Oh, I'm just a rat with a pipe-dream.
A short-sighted idiot with a jacket that's too small!
But this loser will soon be richer than you.
Good boy...
We won, Adrien!
Another!
- We win. - Pick up the spares.
- Having fun? - We were looking for you.
I was here, Agnès.
Where's Di Castro?
He was tired and slipped away. I said our goodbyes.
- We have to go. - But I'm winning.
Look... oh, I missed!
Forget this stupid game. I've something important to say.
Oh, 20 points!
For the last time...
Look, I'll win this game then we'll go. I promise.
That hurts!
My patience has its limits, unlike the foolish suitors you toy with.
- They like it. - I don't!
You're making a scene! What gives you the right?
- It's your turn, Agnès. - I'll take it.
Agnès!
Wait, Adrien's calling.
Agnès! Don't worry, I'm coming!
There's a phone call for you!
It's your mother. Quick, over there!
OK, don't panic. What did the monitor say?
Full throttle...
Pull the joystick slowly...
Gently, gently...
Agnès!
Water, water everywhere!
Nowhere to land.
What the hell, I'll jump.
No way! I'm not jumping.
I nailed the bitch!
So you're French? Where from?
- Besançon. - I'm from Paris.
- What now? - A drink!
Feeling better? And drier?
You'll have a good time here.
They have everything: girls, drinks and music.
Paradise, my friend. True paradise. Shave...
- Where are those two going? - The goons?
To Lola's, like everyone else.
I'll show you.
What do you think?
That's Lola.
Under the gloss, she's quite a character.
She runs this town.
Cheers.
Look at that.
No! Here, have a drink.
On your way.
You've done very well, Norbert.
Thanks to you.
You found me excellent help.
Effective, isn't he?
I know how to choose men.
The boat looks perfect.
Give me the crew's pay.
Your business is costing me a fortune.
Just a few more days, and you'll be paid beyond your dreams.
I'm just doing it for you.
I don't believe in it anymore.
Then look...
The statues held a secret that only I have discovered.
Watch...
One...
Two...
Three.
The key is in the light. Listen:
"At the river's source, the sun melts the rocks."
It's written here.
"As you enter the holy cave,
"dead lights come alive." Diamonds. Tons of diamonds!
- The fabulous Maltek treasure. - Yeah, sure.
You still have doubts?
About what you'll do with them.
- You'll get your share. - What about this Agnès?
Quiet!
First we kill her father, and then you show up with her.
Her father didn't talk. Only she knew where the statue was.
In Rio, not here!
Enough! Not another word about her!
OK, OK.
He's here?
What's the matter?
- A guy followed us from Paris. - Leave it to me.
Is there a Parisian here?
Who's asking?!
- You're the Parisian? - Yes, ma'am!
A refugee from gay Paree,
that's me!
Go to it, Chita!
Where's the emergency exit?
This way!
You take the right, I'll take the left.
Excuse me.
Oh, sorry!
Let me out! I want to leave!
Emanuel!
Can you give me a hand? Thanks.
How kind!
Don't leave me alone!
Agnès!
You're a monster!
Success justifies the crime.
What will it get you?
Power!
You met me in a dusty museum. I can wipe them all out.
Soon I'll be the richest man alive.
I'll give you dresses, houses, maids.
You who intend to live with that penniless loser Adrien
in sweat and squalor. You, Agnès,
can live in splendour with me, in one long party!
No more obscurity, no more worries, no mood swings.
For you've found a reasonable man.
I could do what I like with you
- force you, beat you - as no one would come to help.
But I don't.
That's how I am.
Come now, have some rice.
Adrien!
I love you. Do you love me?
What about me?
We'll take two men to the river's source.
The rest can stay on board.
We've arrived.
Yes, there's no doubt, it's here.
No, stay here.
I can't go on.
A few moments and all the hard work's over.
2, 3, 4... Astem!
Agnès!
Help!
Adrien!
Let go of me!
Where's Catalan?
- Do they still shoot deserters? - I still have two days left.
Plenty of time.
- Have you seen Lebel? - No.
What's he playing at?
Hurry up. Get in!
- Unbelievable! - Here, look...
Let me catch my breath.
- A souvenir for you. - Thanks.
- If you only knew... - What?
The traffic! It took three hours to get here from my place.
- Where? - Viroflay.
I had to cross the whole of Paris!
What an adventure!